A Two-Year-Old Daughter's Grief

Yesterday, I attended a funeral of a friend's twin sister, Charity, who died of osteosarcoma, the most common type of malignant bone cancer, at 27. Such a tragic loss of a beautiful, young mother of 4! While everybody was watching as fresh cement was applied to seal the casket in its final resting place in their family mausoleum, I gently touched Charmelle, her angelic 2 year-old daughter, who was just next to me being carried by her mother's twin brother's girlfriend, Joy. I whispered to her, "Say goodbye to Mommy now." To my astonishment, tears fell on her beautiful face for no reason as she was not obviously upset about anything as if she was silently grieving for her mother. Wait, she was silently grieving for her mother! She didn't make any sound -- not even a whimper -- as she just teared up and leaned her face on Joy's right shoulder.

Everyone soon started to notice this heart-wrenching scene of what I can probably surmise as an unexplainable daughter's bond to her mother. Instinctively, the women, most of whom were mothers, gathered around her and kissed her and comforted her and caressed her and stroked her hair though she still remained soundless, her face tear-stricken. I cried a sad tear, too, behind my sunglasses, as a silent witness with emotions flooding my heart as I grappled to make sense of this incredible spectacle.

One thought raced prominently in my head : an admiration for what seemed to me was an amazing display of tribal bond between women and how they respond almost instinctively and in unison to such an emotionally-charged moment. They surely know how to grieve gracefully and how they can make you feel the beauty, agony, and depth of a cherished relationship, even for a two-year old!

God bless the world for Charmelle. God bless the world for all the women in our lives who make us feel complete, or whole, or vulnerable, or stronger. They are what makes any relationship -- as a mother, daughter, sister, lover, friend -- intricately more complex yet simply, intimately more rewarding... a relationship worth taking to your grave.